Taking it in order, though, there was the New Mexico bar exam. A good amount of anxiety was built into that. Then there was graduation. That helped drown out the anxiety for a bit. Sara and I got married! We whisked away on our honeymoon. Thereafter we drove literally through the night to start our new life out West. And, in what now seems like a series of memories from the best of dreams, here we are. I am now a licensed attorney in the state of New Mexico. Sara is writing. We have left a lot behind us, and we certainly hope that we get to see those friends again who are now somewhere in a parallel to us, moving forward.

I am quite satisfied with my job. I love the home that we have (though we do not own it). Sara is working very diligently from our home, and she will begin her graduate studies soon. I am proud of where we are, though I know that we each had only a small part in shaping where we are and how we got here.

It’s getting to be Fall here–a little late, I would say. Soon we will head back for the holidays to say hello to family and friends. We will get a chance to let them personally know how much we miss them.

But we will also get the chance to tell them how much fun we are having in our little town out in the desert.

Tomorrow and Wednesday I take the bar exam. At this point, I’m pretty excited about it. Later in the day, I’ll probably be nervous about it. But when I board the flight back to Texas, I’ll be nothing but unequivocally excited for the first time in a long time. Lots of hard work and worry has paved the road for this milestone. But for the grace of God and the patience of Sara I would not have been able to accomplish this great feat.

Bar exam and graduation. That’s what’s on tap for this week. What a week it will be.

And then there’s August!

Oh, and I definitely wore my “Where Fun Goes to Die” shirt today. Unashamedly.

The ol’ PC Partner (@pbpope) and I both wore our trial boots to the courthouse on Tuesday. We had been laboriously defending the plaintiff for months. He was without truck and income because of the two defendants we sued. We worked double-time during discovery, hoping that we would reach trial at long last. We summarily zipped through summary judgment. For some strange reason, we conducted voir dire before we had even taken our first deposition. We charged through slapping together a proposed charge. Finally, we had reached trial. After seven or eight hours, we had a verdict. We were victorious.

If this were real, I wouldn’t be giving such a summary. I might say that the jury came back in our favor and leave it at that. But this is Practice Court. I’ve never felt so accomplished in seeing something in which I have toiled come to fruition. It really is a unique experience. Only on the other side of it does the madness make sense.

As it stands, I’ve got three finals, the bar exam, and the MPRE between me and my law license. I graduate at the end of this month, the same month that I turned 24. Next month has even more excitement. Sara and I move to New Mexico and get married. It’s not at all what I had envisioned when Sara and I started this law school adventure some two and a half years ago. But it’s a great plan that God has laid out for us. I’ve had all this anxiety, hoping for things to happen a certain way, but then they happen in even more gracious ways.

In my small world, this all has been a Big Trial. And I’m all the better for it. It wasn’t quite the victory I had in mind, but I think it tastes sweeter after all the frustration, patience, and hard work (not all in equal portions, mind you).

As with all good things in my life, I did not accomplish this on my own. Support from Sara, family, my colleagues in the law, and my aforementioned PC partner have helped carry me this far. Also, the surety of attending St. Alban’s many Sundays to share in the Eucharist.

I do hope that in my justified pride at graduation, I remember to be proud first of my support system. What a great gift. I very much look forward to sharing such joy with friends and family.

It’s not like anyone is actively hiding the ball–the only instance I can think that’s anywhere close to that is the hyped-up admissions literature, which is to be expected. Man, I could just imagine admissions literature that had full disclosure, not just for BLS, but for any school. Let us eliminate all puffery, and in the interest of full disclosure say that these are our weak points! It’s not only impractical, it’s just downright silly. But, aside from the admissions literature (which I have not personally seen since I enrolled), I don’t think anyone is really trying to hide anything. Yet I come back to this idea of a mystique.

I know I’ve contributed to the program’s mystique in not being a regular blogger about my experiences. The truth is that you can read a lot from my silence. That sounds like a cop-out, and it is. But I’m being 100 percent truthful in saying that there was literally no time for me personally to reflect upon what I was doing or look forward to any concrete goal ahead of me. That, generally, has been what this blog has been about. It’s been a time for personal reflection and an opportunity to voice goals and hopes for the future as well.

But, in the Practice Court program, there’s no such time. Keeping one’s head down and focused on the 2 ft x 3 ft space of desk in front of you is really your only priority 5 days a week. Every waking moment is sacrificed to preparation for class and for advocacy exercises. Sure, there’s an hour or two a day that you take for yourself most days, but that’s not without its accompanying guilt. I did manage that guilt quite well; I was able to convince myself that mental sanity was still a bigger priority than school.

Through it all, I am exceedingly glad for the time that I took away from school, as scarce as it was. I am proud of my friends and I for staying as level-headed as we could about this whole thing. I am so thankful for Sara and her patience through this. It has, no doubt at all, been very trying on her, too.

I have a wonderful life, and I’ve faced some recent challenges alongside my friends (and with Sara’s help), and I have so much for which to be thankful. Yes, even these challenges are a humbling blessing in themselves. Thus ends this reflection. Now, I must commence studies for this quarter’s last exam!

Not too long ago, I used to scour the web for new artists, spend many hours in the iTunes Music Store (as it was then called because one could not purchase movies and other media) looking for the as-of-yet undiscovered band. I’m no longer on that cutting edge. I still consider myself somewhat literate in the regard.

In my adoption of Pandora, I must admit, I was a latecomer. But, once I arrived, I was a near-instant believer. I admire the concept of the Music Genome Project. Throughout law school, I’ve been able to enjoy the benefits of Pandora on my computer and, more recently, on my phone. It’s good because I can appeal to both my familiar and adventurous tastes in the same application. It’s a welcome alternative to my iTunes library when I really want to hear something new–something I’ve never heard before. It’s an equally suitable channel (much like terrestrial radio) for when I don’t want to have to make any musical decisions.

I hope that my many hours of listening (and my monetary contribution for unlimited plays and higher-quality streaming) contributes to the collective intelligence of the Music Genome Project. I plan to listen to Pandora for many years to come–so long as licensing fees do not run it into the ground. It has managed to survive this far, and I do hope that decades from now that it will continue to exist. I’ll fire up whatever media device of the day that I have and at my fingertips will be a collection of stations I began to build in the latter days of the ’00s.

Though a collection has never been the final goal, that’s what it will be some day. A collection that for long as I listen to music (as sure as I am alive), will grow and learn music and artists and catalog them along with me. Coupled with the other media for enjoying music, I am so grateful for all the methods that I am able to take pleasure from. Vinyl, radio, computer, phone, the list goes on.

And, one day, I shall get back to the discipline of studying and learning music as I used to. How I miss it and long for it someday in the coming months and years. Thank God for the gift of music.

On my way home, I was led down the most beautifully frightening, wrong road.

The post title may seem unoriginal. It is, but it’s blunt. If there’s any sort of characteristic about this quarter that I’d say will show time and again, it is bluntness.

The class is just as everyone had described, but also it’s not any of those things described.

Sure, it’s never been demanded of me that I consistently read 100-200 pages a night of case law in addition to rulebooks and a particularly dense Evidence treatise. But, many people have managed to do it. People rise to the occasion; we all have that sort of discipline in us. It’s not that bad when everyone you know in the class is clocking the same amount of hours of work and sleep as you are. You do it because it’s part of the game. Quite a game it is.

The professors have earned their reputations, but they’re probably more fair than people have described them. I hedge there because I’ve only completed two weeks. There’s still plenty of time to forge a lasting opinion.

Class has never been more demanding in terms of preparation time and with respect to the amount of hours spent giving active attention to both lecture and Socratic discourse. I probably spend more time making sure my rulebooks and materials are stacked just so on my desk than I ever did reviewing cases for previous law school classes. It’s not enough to have done the reading and have the materials within arm’s reach. You literally have to know where each case, rule, and supplemental material is within a moment’s notice.

Memos. Everyone in our class has had at least one. These were one thing that had a particular shroud of mystery about them. They still are somewhat mystical. They can strike at most any time for most any topic. Length? As long as is necessary to explain the results of your research. Time involved? It’s difficult to estimate. I’d venture to say it’s about a 45 minute minimum and there may not be an upper time limit.

Speaking of time, it is indeed very precious. An hour of errands essentially means one hour less of sleep. There is no making up for a lost hour. Hours should be spent reading and highlighting. After class, only a half hour break should be taken regardless of what time you’re let out. For dinner, take no more than an hour–45 minutes is preferred. For lunch, eat as quickly as you can and spend the rest of the hour plus that you’ve been allotted to both get some computer time in (20 minutes to respond to email and check your favorite websites) and review materials for the next class.

Weekends are so rewarding. Friday nights (I’ve only had two, mind you) have never been so conflicting–and so glorious. Sleep calls early–because it may be had, at long last. But the prospect of fun conflicts with the notion of an early bedtime. I’ve found thus far that desire for sleep has mostly won out. But, I do await at least one Friday night where I can stomach staying out as late as any normal law student might.

That’s all I know for now. I’ve done my best not to exaggerate, though we all tend to think we work more than we do. I’m sticking with it, and so are my peers. What a great achievement it will be when it’s all done.

Right this very moment, I sit. I sit on my couch in my apartment, and I watch TV. It’s been a great quarter.

This morning, I registered for Practice Court. I registered, and so it’s now registering with me how full-circle the Baylor Law School experience is coming.

There are some exciting things on tap for this year. But, a lot stands between me and those goals and milestones. I probably shouldn’t be looking at it that way. I should even savor this time that’s sure to stretch and stress me. Odds are that I won’t–that I’ll grow complacent even when I’m in constant motion. I hope to understand that life isn’t all about moving forward. Sometimes it’s about the striving in the day at hand as opposed to constantly looking toward milestones. My point to myself is that it’s not an all or nothing approach. I must actively understand that life is best when viewed in terms of future, past, and present together–not one to the exclusion of the others.

I have been lavished with blessing in 2009. I look back to those good things, and I look forward. I also look to the essence of each day as it unfolds. Right now, the circumstances are perfect for the triune view. The weather is cold, my abode is warm and I’m fresh with holiday cheer that comes from spending time with friends and family. As the weather outside registers a higher temperature, indicating a new season, I arise to new tasks and new challenges. I am truly excited. I’m positive that there are many things that I won’t enjoy, but I sincerely hope that with the pain and sleeplessness I become a better person. That means that I hope I come out on the other side more determined to be balanced and to excel professionally. I hope all the sweat and blood truly yields a better, more competent person.

As it stands, I will proceed as though it will. However, if it registers that the events of the coming months are just some sort of unbelievable exercise in a twisted game, I’m prepared to tackle that at its face value. Either way, I hope that I keep the most positive outlook possible. As the recurring optimist in me thinks, I should weather life’s storms better if only I keep an agreeable view of things. It’s an active choice I intend to make as often as I remember to do so. May it be often.

[Photo is in the heart of Santa Fe from my weekend trip in Summer 2009.]

Historically, people have celebrated this time for millennia for any number of reasons. The Winter Solstice is a heavy time, weighted down with much significance. I don’t know if its origin of meaning can be traced back to viking-like peoples lighting pyres on the shortest day of the year and worshiping evergreen trees for their power to live as heartily as people learned to do. I don’t know if the Christian origin explains everything just perfectly either. I know that the latter is important to me beyond the limitations of my belief. I know that the latter intrigues me very much. Their intertwinings are what I know to be Christmas in modern times, some of the meaning and essence displaced by rituals and facilities of modernity.

A comment is all I have for now. Hopefully, I’ll have more time to reflect upon this subject later.

If you’ve been with me for a little while, you’ll notice this is the third consecutive post incorporating music in some shape or fashion. 3 out of the last 5 posts, in fact, have done just this.

I was talking to my friend David over the weekend at his Saturday (the 14th) show in Waco at Hemingway’s. I hadn’t seen him in quite some time–we had fallen out of touch, though I keep apprised as to his music and follow him on Twitter. It came up in conversation as to why I hadn’t gone the way of music–how I had ventured into law. Frankly, I’ve thought about this a lot. It’s simple; I’ve had to explain it in interviews when people look at my resume.

I realized that there was only the tiniest possibility that I would ever make it in life as a musician. I couldn’t perform or teach music for a living. I loved being around the people that excel in music–the people I consider to be practicing, functioning musicians. But, I couldn’t crack it for myself. I knew that I was destined to be one of the many students of music whose highest hope is to be part of an ensemble on a weekly basis.

And, the conversation continued, David sagely pointed out that music is just as much about the people creating music as it is about the people consuming and supporting music. I’ve known this, and I’ve taken comfort it, but I had never heard the same from a musician that I personally know and respect as both an artist and as a human being.

I’ve known almost innately how important the arts are, how they enhance the experience of the human condition. I’ve been on both sides of the stage. And, I know that I must always be an advocate for the artist and his art. Wherever I may find myself, it’s not the large interests of an industry I’m concerned about. It’s about David carting his guitar around the country with little more than the clothes on his back. He’s got no money because he just spent his last eight dollars on gas, and he’s plugging in wherever there’s a mic and some speakers, hoping to get some free beers, sell some CDs, and maybe land a place to crash on the couch of some kindred spirit.

Anyone who’s ever read Kerouac’s “On The Road” knows just what I’m trying to get at. And, I think if it ever becomes impossible for vagabonds like David to live their craft from place to place, then America has become something irreparably irrecognizable from the romance that Kerouac saw on the roads of my beloved country. And, I think it’s safe to say, when we mark that day that the Davids of America can no longer wayfare about–that day would be a very silent, cool day. One where I wouldn’t even know to shed a tear–because it would be too real of a loss.

I eagerly await the arrival of the new album next week. It can already be streamed from Rhapsody, and I started to listen to the first track, but I felt like I was being unfaithful to the process. When it’s a new artist that I don’t have a lot of history with, I feel just fine getting a teaser stream of the album. But, with John, I want to get the album and listen to it once straight through in full quality.

I feel I owe that to artists that I truly follow, obeying the process, trusting the artist. John is one of the few I can classify as such.

One of the things that truly has made this time leading up to this album more personable has been following John’s tweets (@johncmayer). He has been painstaking about artistic transparency on this record. He’s done a wonderful job with it; it doesn’t feel anything like voyeurism or crowdsourcing. It’s just open honesty about what he’s doing with the album from writing to tracking to pressing. I’ve had the opportunity to see it all for an artist that I truly admire in so many ways.

As it goes, I don’t condone everything he’s done, but I don’t have to. He hasn’t done it for me or for any of his other millions of fans. He’s done it for himself, and he’s been up-front about it the whole time.

With all of that said, here’s the video for his first single, called “Who Says,” off the new album, “Battle Studies.”